Finding home
“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” ~Maya Angelou
I love to travel and wander and explore. (...you may have picked up on this by now.) I like to be spontaneous and adventurous and often feel antsy if tied to one place for too long. At the same time, I am an introvert who likes to nest and feel settled. I crave some sort of routine and familiarity and a sense of being grounded. I believe that this internal conflict of wanting two seemingly opposing things, while confusing, is quite simply part of the human condition. We’re pretty complex creatures, after all. We’re hardwired to want order and structure and homeostasis, while also desiring freedom, autonomy and independence. We want to be unique, yet belong. We want stability, but also flexibility.
Which is why, for me at least, the idea of home is a complicated one. Having a consistent landing place where I return in between my travels, feels equal parts inviting and stifling—a safe refuge and an imposing restriction. At times, I want to throw off anything binding me to a particular place, and other times want something that is familiar and comforting and mine.
But, as with most things that seem to be in conflict, I have found that if I stop trying to pit them against each other and instead consider how these things can be equally true at the same time, I open myself to a lot more possibility. Because while my mind desires order and hierarchy and clear, succinct lines of separation, this is rarely how life or being human works. When I release the need to pick one way to think or be, I find that my longing to nest and my urge to wander are actually not in conflict at all, but are beautifully complementary to one another. As I experience the constant change and discomfort that comes with travel, my inclination toward settling and grounding actually helps me create the safe space I need to travel mindfully and sustainably.
Furthermore, I’ve found that if I can channel my energy into revising how I define home to begin with, rather than trying to pick one way to feel about it, I can make it into something that works for me rather than something I’m fighting against. In taking this approach, I have found a few key principles about what it means to find or create home wherever I go:
First and foremost…home, for me, lies within. I am my home; I am my safe space. That doesn’t change as my location or geography does. If I am at a place of deep connection with myself, then I’m okay. I know I can always go inward to ground, reset, and find comfort and acceptance.
Slow travel combines both of these needs for me. It allows me to experience new places while also affording me the time to claim a space as my own, create a routine and settle in.
I find little things that feel like home everywhere I go. As I travel and find moments of belonging or alignment or delight, however brief they might be, I get to hold onto those things, take them with me and use them to learn more about myself. .What makes those moments so special? What makes them feel like home? What significance do they hold for me? How can I seek or incorporate more of those moments in my life, regardless of where I am?
Last but definitely not least… It is without a doubt the people I return to in between my travels, not the place itself, that gives me a sense of true homecoming.
The idea of what constitutes home is a very personal matter and looks different for everyone. So, what does home mean to you? Does it mean a specific place, a people group, a connection with self, or something else? What helps you ground and find comfort and belonging, regardless of your external environment? As always, I hope these questions (as well as my personal reflections, musings and general ramblings) challenge you and spark your curiosity to learn more about yourself and the world.
Until next time…
Happy traveling!
~Tiffany