How travel helps us let go
Travel can help us learn many things… how to plan and organize, how to meet new people, how to maneuver through airport security like a pro, how to pack efficiently, how to get by with a limited understanding of the local language. But one of the most important things it teaches us is how to let go.
Letting go is an art that is cultivated through intentional practice over time and essentially means releasing the things in our lives that don’t serve us. This includes our need to try and control everything at the expense of our sanity and wellbeing. This includes mindsets about other people, the world and ourselves that keep us stuck and from being the people we would actually like to be.
Why, then, would we hold onto these things? Fear of the unknown, for starters. The threat of what might happen if we don’t have these things is much too scary and uncomfortable to process, so we stay with what’s safe and familiar, even if it holds us back. That’s right, given the option between growth and comfort, the mind will pick comfort every time.
The truth is that the overwhelming majority of things in this life are out of our control. This is a sobering reality that we tend to avoid by living in such a way that gives an illusion of being in control. We make ourselves believe that if we can just do enough, work hard enough, be disciplined enough, make enough money (you get the idea), … we can not only control the circumstances of our own lives, but also the thoughts, behaviors and beliefs of those around us. We can minimize the risk of unexpected threats and stressors, thereby making our lives easier. And when this strategy inevitably fails, we are left disappointed, disillusioned and exhausted.
Our desire to create a sense of control and cling to it by any means necessary is natural. But it can also keep us prisoner to ideas and behaviors that not only limit us, but also limit our ability to authentically and deeply connect with others. Not to mention, it can create an immense amount of suffering, as we try desperately to hold onto our idealized beliefs of how the world “should” operate, rather than being present to how it actually does.
When we travel, particularly internationally, it begins to remove some of this illusion of control. When we go places where we aren’t familiar with the geography, customs or language, it becomes a lot harder to pretend to control what’s going on around us. There is a sort of surrender and flexibility that’s necessary to navigate the discomfort of travel. Unless you want to have an immensely frustrating trip, that is.
Travel challenges what we think we know about everything. It exposes us to how people operate with different beliefs, values and perspectives, and live completely happy and fulfilled lives doing so. It shows us there is more than one way to be, more than one way to navigate this crazy life. And as it introduces us to lifestyles and ways of thinking beyond our own, it can also help us identify and release the rigid or limited mindsets that are not, in fact, serving us. It helps us come to terms with what we need to rid ourselves of so that we can live in greater alignment with who we want to be.
Letting go as we travel may look like allowing our perspectives to be challenged or expanded as we meet new people and experience new things. It may look like taking a moment to breathe and accept our current reality, as frustrating or uncomfortable as it may be, rather than doubling down on what we think it should be. It might mean leaning into discomfort and seeking the opportunity to learn, rather than choosing what feels safe and familiar. Or it might mean opting for curiosity, rather than allowing fear of the unknown to take control.
Cultivating this kind of flexibility can be challenging and certainly takes some intention and practice. But with time, it can have a multitude of benefits, including the resilience to step into the unknown with confidence and courage.
While this post only scratches the surface of what it means to let go, there are a few practices we’ve found that help us stay open, adaptable and curious as we travel:
Notice reactions
So much of making any meaningful change is bringing awareness to the patterns that don’t serve us or align with who we want to be. This means noticing when we have let frustration or fear take the driver’s seat and are no longer acting in accordance with our values. We can assess this by noticing what’s going on in our bodies, what thoughts are present, and what reactive behaviors we feel tempted to engage in (if you feel like yelling at someone or getting physical, maybe take a step back).
Take deep breaths
Once you’ve noticed what’s happening, take a moment to breathe deeply. Deep, steady breathing helps calm the nervous system while intense emotions pass, so we can use a more calm and grounded approach to assessing the situation and considering what response would be most helpful.
Ask questions
Curiosity helps keep us from defaulting back to rigid ways of thinking. So as you calm, consider what it would look like to be really curious instead. What can you learn here? What do you notice about the people around you or your environment? What are you experiencing physically and emotionally? What might these things be trying to communicate?
Identify opportunities
In most situations, no matter how uncomfortable or frustrating, we can usually find an opportunity… if we want to. For as unfamiliar as a new culture may be, are there any rituals or customs that you find fascinating and want to learn more about? When travel plans fall through, what more can you explore where you are? Is there the option to have an unexpected rest day or to travel somewhere not on the itinerary? Is there an opportunity to create connections with those around you? Is there a way you can be of service to others? Where might there be an opportunity, instead of just a barrier?
Be extra kind and patient
Letting go isn’t easy. Accepting situations that go against our desires or worldviews can sometimes feel impossible. Being gentle with yourself as you learn to do this is key. Remember that compassion actually helps us stay open and learn, whereas criticism can cause us to shut down or stay in those unhelpful patterns.
In case you’re wondering… yes, we realize that all of these things are much easier said than done. If you would like to learn more about the art of letting go and how you can cultivate this practice for yourself, please reach out – we would love to hear from you!
Until next time…
Happy traveling!
~Tiffany