Reflections from a travel imposter
I’ve worked with many clients over the years. In this time, I have found that an alarming amount of people deal with imposter syndrome – the feeling that they are a fraud, someone who actually isn’t as qualified or capable as everyone seems to think they are, and who is waiting for the moment that they are exposed for the phony they are.
According to Psychology Today, “people who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held.”
This, of course, isn’t true. Those doubting their capabilities tend to forget the dedication, perseverance, sacrifice and skill it took to get themselves to where they are. What intrigues me more about this concept is the idea that anyone could be so cunning and clever as to deceive everyone around them into believing the same thing. Truthfully, this in and of itself would be quite impressive. So not only do those suffering from imposter syndrome not give themselves enough credit, but also don’t give the people around them much credit for being able to assess someone’s true character or abilities.
And while it’s easy for me to step back and make this assessment after years of working with people through this cycle of self-doubt, I would be lying if I said I don’t experience it myself. Often. And recently, it’s been popping up with regards to me as a traveler.
Throughout my life, I have traveled to 20 countries. I have spent long weekends backpacking or visiting new cities in the U.S. I have spent weeks popping around Europe and months immersing in South America. I have traveled solo and in groups. I have stayed in tents, hostels, Airbnbs and hotels. I have traveled by car, boat, train, plane. I’ve traveled.
But, not as much as someone who has been to, say, 50 countries. Or 100. I didn’t take my first solo trip right out of undergrad. I didn’t backpack around Europe for 3 months on $100. I don’t have a ton of crazy, daring or reckless stories to share. I haven’t traveled the entire world with nothing but a carry-on. I don’t travel full-time or get paid to do it. I have traveled solo, but not as extensively as other people. I haven’t yet become fluent in another language, though I’m well on my way. I have met people throughout my travels, but haven’t yet forged many deep, lifelong bonds. I try new things, but don’t always feel up for putting myself out there. Sometimes, I am perfectly content staying in my room eating takeout and watching Netflix, rather than exploring and socializing. I get scared often. I doubt myself constantly. I love travel. But sometimes I don’t like it. Sometimes I feel weary and lonely and homesick.
For all these reasons (and about a million more), I often fear that I’m not a “real” traveler. I am someone who has traveled, but am not yet worthy of the traveler title. I often worry that if I meet someone who is a “real” traveler, they will know I’m a fraud right away. They will be able to see my lack of culture and experience from a mile away. And they will expose me for what I really am.
Dealing with imposter syndrome like this can be wearing and demotivating, not to mention exhausting. So how do we address it? The key to overcoming it, according to Psychology Today, is by “changing a person's mindset about their own abilities.” Okay… here it goes.
I’m worried people will see me for what I really am. What I really am. But…what am I, really? I’m someone who has traveled more than some and less than others. I’m someone who didn’t fully grasp their desire to travel until a bit later in life, after spending my first act trying to be who I thought I should be. I am someone who has decided to prioritize travel in my life now, while sacrificing other things. I am someone who believes in and has experienced firsthand the profound impact travel can have. I am someone who believes in supporting others as they have their own impactful travel experiences. I have taken time to connect with others while I travel, and have learned to balance that with my need for rest and solitude. I have learned a lot about other cultures, and still have so much to learn. I am well on my way toward being a more mindful, responsible traveler; yet I still have a long way to go.
I am a traveler. A real traveler. A traveler of this world and this life. Because I choose to be. Not because anyone else labels me as such. And I have the wonderful opportunity to learn from those who have come before, those who have traveled more than I have, those who have committed themselves to travel in ways that I haven’t or can’t or won’t. I will continue to have my own experiences and learn from the experiences of others. Just because I don’t have the same stories or credentials doesn’t mean I’m an imposter. It simply means I’m on my own path. And I have my own unique contributions to offer this world.
And so do you. I offer this reflection to say, the next time you find yourself questioning your credibility, your worth or your right to claim something for yourself, pause. Instead of focusing on all the reasons you may be an imposter, consider all the ways in which you’re not. What have you done to get yourself where you are? What decisions have you made? What have you prioritized and sacrificed along the way? What have you chosen for yourself?
Own those things. Rest in the assurance that you’re not fake; you’re not fooling everyone; you’re not unworthy. You are fully, really human with a unique story to tell and something to offer the world that it desperately needs – your most authentic, aligned, connected self.
And one of my favorite discoveries throughout my time as a traveler (see… owning it), is that while the world needs me to be my most authentic self, it also helps me discover who that person is. A very symbiotic relationship indeed.
Until next time…
Happy traveling!
~Tiffany